OK, I have been procrastinating. I don't want to be writing about this. I want to talk about team building or leadership models, anything but this. I have issues with forgiveness. There is nothing funner than wallowing in hatred and bitterness, planning someones violent demise. The feeling of my blood pressure spiking is like luxuriating in a cauldron of hot acid. There are times that I have missed an entire nights sleep as I enjoyed fantasies of biting someone! I am a proponent of the death penalty for crying out loud! Yet as someone on a quest to learn and master authentic masculinity I feel the art of forgiveness is indeed a big piece of the puzzle. So I have been trudging through the book "Dare To Forgive: The Power Of Letting Go & Moving On" for almost two years and in that time it has sailed across the room more than once. I don't want to forgive! My anger has become "my little precious" and it needs nurtured, fed and protected. The author of the book, Edward Hallowell M.D., makes good points and cites scientific evidence supporting the health benefits of forgiveness. I am sure sleep would come easier also as I have at times bonked the sheep on their heads as they jumped over the fence. I come from a long line of grudge holders, my mother being one of the best! It's in my DNA! Yet as the book points out the act of forgiving someone is a decision and he promises that it gets easier with practice. I may give it a try tomorrow. I might just decide not to give the jerk that cuts me off the finger. Baby steps, right?
Tuesday, April 16, 2013
Forgive? You Have Got To Be Kidding!
OK, I have been procrastinating. I don't want to be writing about this. I want to talk about team building or leadership models, anything but this. I have issues with forgiveness. There is nothing funner than wallowing in hatred and bitterness, planning someones violent demise. The feeling of my blood pressure spiking is like luxuriating in a cauldron of hot acid. There are times that I have missed an entire nights sleep as I enjoyed fantasies of biting someone! I am a proponent of the death penalty for crying out loud! Yet as someone on a quest to learn and master authentic masculinity I feel the art of forgiveness is indeed a big piece of the puzzle. So I have been trudging through the book "Dare To Forgive: The Power Of Letting Go & Moving On" for almost two years and in that time it has sailed across the room more than once. I don't want to forgive! My anger has become "my little precious" and it needs nurtured, fed and protected. The author of the book, Edward Hallowell M.D., makes good points and cites scientific evidence supporting the health benefits of forgiveness. I am sure sleep would come easier also as I have at times bonked the sheep on their heads as they jumped over the fence. I come from a long line of grudge holders, my mother being one of the best! It's in my DNA! Yet as the book points out the act of forgiving someone is a decision and he promises that it gets easier with practice. I may give it a try tomorrow. I might just decide not to give the jerk that cuts me off the finger. Baby steps, right?
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